what i learned in a year of living together + big announcement!
So as we approach October (woah, already?), I have realized that Noah and I will have survived a whole YEAR of living together, which is so crazy to think about! It honestly feels like we just moved in together after spending over a year apart. (If you want long distance tips, comment below!) During this time we spent the year getting to know life in downtown Denver as well as getting to know each other more too. We learned how to be roommates and respect each other’s space and discovering our needs, wants and spending LOTS more time together (which of course I love, but it also presents new challenges). Overall, this past year has been quite the adventure, filled with so many blessings, but is just the start to something beautiful.
I will say that with all of the changes that happen when moving in with your SO, you will also experienced your share of “growing pains”, or challenges that can come with transition. Living with someone else can come very naturally and you WILL grow closer and stronger through it, but not without putting in the work.
I’ve always prayed for a relationship that felt natural and easy and carefree but this past year I’ve learned that nothing in life worth having will come easy. When you think of healthy, faith-based, fun, best friend marriages…they don’t happen by taking the easiest path.
Even when your relationship is “good”, aka: you’re not fighting, things are chill, you’re happy, he’s happy, you’ve got to put in the work! Sometimes “putting in the work” looks a little like choosing not to bring your phones on a hike and engage in deeper conversations just enjoying each other’s company. Sometimes it means taking breakfast to work in order to surprise your husband with a love note to come home to. Sometimes “putting in the work” looks like choosing patience when you’re level of irritability is at an all time high. (This one happens between us A LOT. Hah!)
I’d always been the gal that wouldn’t move in with a man until marriage. I wanted them to accept me and love me unconditionally without having to live with me first. But if you’re already seriously committed to the person, maybe taking that next step isn’t the worst thing? I don’t think either way to wrong or right but depending totally on the couple involved. I’m learning that living together is seriously work because to truly find emotional, physical, spiritual intimacy with your person takes effort! Every single day you have the choice to be selfish or selfless. Choosing to daily pursue and love your person takes work and effort. It’s so easy to choose to just “coast” in your love or just be “fine” constantly going through the motions…or you could choose selfless love and growth.
We have far from mastered this concept of making a daily choice to love and serve each other…but I can say, when we make that choice, it’s makes all the difference in our happiness and joy. When Noah surprises me with a random date night to my favorite restaurant, or brings home an almond milk latte, or I randomly write him a note, or choose to be more present…these are all little gestures that show we are choosing each other. It’s definitely hard to keep the romance alive once you become “roommates” but as we continue to find that balance I know we’ll continue to grow in this way everyday for the rest of our lives!
So, wherever you’re at in your relationship, just remember you have to put in the work. Choose to forgive, choose to love, leave phones at home, be present. Choose to put in the work and live together selflessly, and I promise it will be so worth it!
Wellllllll, if you’re wondering what our big announcement is! In celebration of engagement (and lease ending) we bought a house here in DENVER!! And we are beyond excited and can’t wait to get into the new house! We closed on September 21st and will be moving next weekend and I can’t wait to show you guys the house and make it our own, as well as host friends and family. We truly feel so blessed!
And to my Noahs, thank you for being my best friend, and for being by my side this past year no matter what. This as probably the hardest, yet most amazing year we’ve experienced together and there’s no one else I’d rather be on this adventure with, and you’re truly the most amazing man I’ve ever know. Love you babe!